soft

I'm sorta annoyed with my weight right now.

OF COURSE, I'm not overweight, or remotely fat or anything like that. But I am soft and kinda flabby and it bugs me.

All of the clothes I've had for the last 5+ years still fit me, but my shorts are all starting to give me muffin top. When I sit down I have a little dunlop around my waist. And I'm noticing the really annoying wiggling sensation on the underpart of my upper arm each time I wave hello or goodbye to someone (Christa do you remember that time we saw this on a certain someone [not you Wannie] in Pasa Robles? hee hee).

This time last year I was rocking the size 2 jeans and had toned arms and a flat stomach. That was 99% thanks to a nursing child who sucked every last ounce of flab off of me. But the minute she weaned the weight came back immediately. I'm not kidding - it was literally within a week that I started to notice a difference in my body.

I realize how obnoxious it is to complain about my figure when I wear size 4 pants/shorts and a size small top. But we all have a numerical number in our head that we feel comfortable and confident at and mine is 115. Currently I'm 119. Sure, that isn't much and I could drop 4 pounds easily. Problem is - my body likes being around 120 and no amount of fat free greek yogurt for lunch or cutting out snacks is helping to rid these 4 pounds.

I've been trying to exercise but ugh, I have no time. Yes, that is the worse excuse and I can't believe I'm even using it. I've tried getting up at 6:15am for a run but it is so hard when I've been staying up late studying.

Here is what I typically eat in a day:
breakfast - 1/4 of coffee with 1 tsp creamer
1 slice of whole wheat bread with a little bit of hummus and an egg on top.

lunch - fat free chobani greek yogurt with a 1/2 cup of granola
piece of fruit, handful of almonds or a small handful of GORP.

mid afternoon snack - apple or handful of almonds or small granola bar. It's around this time that I start getting really hungry and can easily just start snacking and eating crap b/c I'm starving.

dinner - tonight was a bowl of this (really good!) and 2 glasses of wine.

I eat well and am not overeating. Do I just need to accept that I am over 30 and my metabolism is slowing down? Is it not possible to lose weight unless you are exercising?

Suggestions?

grades, so far

Nursing Techniques - 89%
Nursing Concepts - 86%
Health Assessment - 87%
Pharmacology - 94%

I still a few more tests and I have 3 cumulative finals to take the week of Aug. 23, so we'll see what I end up with. But I'm thinking I'll have 2 B's and 2 C's.

they were right

I am freaking out with nursing school right now. I'm really surprised that all those nerds at orientation were right when they warned all of us "just remember to breath!" The amount of textbooks, folders, papers, reference books and careplans that are currently stacked all around our kitchen table (aka our study desk) is ridiculous, but not quite as bad as the smelly, moldy sink full of dishes that have not budged in almost a week. I've been staying up late, rushing to and from class, trying to fit an extra moment of studying in any chance I can get and I still feel behind. My shoulders and chest muscles have been sore off-and-on for a few weeks now from lugging a 30 pound backpack full of textbooks around all day (I'm really starting to consider getting a rolling-backpack. nerd alert!) I just keep sitting in my classes with my jaw on my desk because I can't get over all the deadlines, tests, quizzes, careplans, papers and presentations they keep piling on us.

I'm really trying to let everything else go - shaving my legs, making dinner, cleaning the house, reading any sort of written material that is not school related - and focus on school. In one week I will be done with a huge presentation for my pharm class. In one month I will be done with my first semester. In 6 months I will be 1/2 way through the program. In one year I will be getting ready to graduate. gah!

make this! now!

Black beans, Feta, Corn & Quinoa

1 cup of quinoa (1 cup of quinoa + 2 cups of water, bring to a boil then simmer for 10ish minutes)
1 can of drained black beans
1 handful fresh or frozen corn
1 handful crumbled feta
1/2 diced red onion
some chopped parsley for looks
lime
evoo
s&p

In a bowl whisk together the juice from a lime, a little glug of EVOO and salt and pepper. Dump in everything else, stir with a fork (helps fluff the quinoa), cover it and let it sit in the fridge for 30 minutes.

Eat and devour and be amazed at how amazing this meal is.

creative

Heard during Piper's afternoon nap today:

"Mommy, Mommy! Come quick. I have a boogie to show you!"

22!

Today over lunch at the hospital we ("we" meaning the 12 other students who I am in class with everyday, we are getting to know each other pretty good) were chatting about somebody's 21st birthday. A girl asked everyone to say how old they were. When I said that I just turned 32 everyone was shocked. The girl sitting next to me said "What! No way! I would not have given you over 22!!"

YES! I still got it folks!

WWCD?

When in a pickle lately, I've found myself wondering WWCD?

WWCD = What Would Christa Do.

You see, Christa is much different from Sue Anne and I in one specific aspect - emotions. Sue Anne and I share the common bonds of both of us being highly emotional, major criers and we can take almost anything personally. So how I would react to a situation is usually the same way Sue Anne would.

Christa however, is much different. Sure she is loving and kind, but she also has a much thicker skin and can withstand way more emotional turmoil then Sue Anne and I can. She doesn't sweat the small stuff (within reason! am i right sue anne? wup wup!) and doesn't let other people's actions or bad moods or ignorance affect her. For example: So last week I took Piper to get an icee after school. To minimize spills I decided to buy one icee, but split it between 2 cups. I went to pay for our icee and the fat-ass woman at the cash register with a 6th grade education rang me up for 2 icees. I politely told her that I had only bought one icee, but just split it between 2 cups. Her mouth dropped open, her eyes got wide and she looked at me like I was some sort of criminal. She started chastising me over how wrong that was and how her boss could come in at the end of her shift and count all the icee cups and when he sees that one was missing she would be charged for it and get in trouble. I apologized and said I would come back with the additional money for the other icee and she said gave a HUGE sigh, slammed the cash register closed, gave me my change and said "No, just, just forget it. Really, just...UGH, no. Please, just leave." I left with my tail between my legs and fretted over the freaking icee and the lady for like 45 minutes. I went back and forth in my head and decided I would go home, get the additional money and take it to her and apologize again. Then I stopped for a minute and wondered WWCD? She would have been polite and offered to pay for the additional icee and when the lady refused her money she would have let.it.go. Christa doesn't let shit like this bother her, whereas Sue Anne and I would pine over it for an hour or so. I mean really, like the owner is really gonna freaking count the icee cups at the end of this ladies shift! Please!

I accidentally ran over a squirrel a few months ago. I felt horrible and wondered if I should go shove it off to the side of the road, or do...I don't know, something about it. I told Christa about it later and she replied "Good riddance. I ran over a squirrel the other day and I was like 'Yes!! One less gross rodent!'" She had a point - I mean, it's a freaking squirrel.



The other weekend I met a friend for breakfast (Patrick was in Texas) and my total bill came to $9.65. When the waitress came to take our check I handed her a $10 bill and she asked if I needed change and I said no. Out of the corner of my eye I saw her walk about 4 steps away from our table, looked at my bill, saw that I had handed her a $10 bill and turn and give me the biggest eat-shit-and-die look. She then walked over to the counter, about 3 feet away from our table, and in a very loud voice said to the other waiters "Look at the tip that woman right there left me! Can you believe that! 35 cents! I can't believe it." They all looked at my bill and then looked at me. What that bitch didn't take the time to notice, was that I had $2 in my other freaking hand that I was leaving her for a tip. I was so pissed off and upset and embarrassed. I fretted over it for 2 hours. Finally, I thought WWCD? She would have shrugged and though "Whatever lady, you are the bozo for not noticing I have money in my other hand."



Christa is also known secretly between Sue Anne and I as Loose Lips Gallagher for her penchant for not keeping secrets!

balance

on tuesday i went to class, ate my (packed) lunch outside on campus, then went to the library and studied for 2 hours, then got home in time to hop on my bike and ride down to St. John's Preschool to pick up Piper. We rode the bike up to our neighborhood gas station and split a coke & cherry icee while we rode down to the playground. it was a nice balance of my student life + mommy life.

hallo

wow, i'm really behind on my blogging. our new/old laptop (formally wannie's old laptop) went crash, boom and has basically officially called it quits. my parents generously lent us their laptop for a few weeks while we pony up and freaking buy a new laptop already. we have definitely been prolonging the envitable the past few years, but we finally went and looked at some laptops at costco over the weekend. so in the meantime, i'm not able to upload any photos or videos, which is a bummer because patrick took some great shots while he was in texas last week and i got a super cute video of the two of them before they flew out last week.

i don't have time to do a true update, but here are some things i've been wanting to blog about:
-the fact that i now sorta have to have coffee in the morning. ugh, i did not want that to happen.

-our chickens still haven't produced any eggs and we are anxiously awaiting them to hurry on up with it already.

-that piper is in quite possibly, the most adorable, wonderful, hilarious stage ever. i just can't get enough of her and i want to put her in my pocket and carry her around with me all day.

-that i love fat free chobani greek yogurt a lot.

-i'm in a recipe rut. i haven't been cooking much since this semester started and we've been eating a lot of leftovers and hastily thrown together meals and i miss trying something new.

-that i really want to try and recreate a homemade loaf of Ezekiel Bread. the fancy, organic, biblical bread that is $4.99 a loaf. i LOVE it.

-that patrick planned the best birthday weekend for me. it was one of my most favorite birthday weekends ever and we really did nothing but sit around at the beach and drink, read magazines, watch good tv, walk the beach and take 3+ hour bike rides.

-that i got up the courage to go to a meditation class at the Buddhist temple around the corner from our house and when i got there the class had been canceled and i was secretly so relieved because i really didn't want to go, i was just trying to make myself want to want to go.

easter

I was just looking at some photos from Easter and I saw this cute picture, 3 generations!

Mom and I, rocking the fake smiles.

Me and my girl.

I wanted to post this picture because you can see my faux Ray-Bans sunglasses. I really liked them, until they flew out of the drink holder on my bike when I went over a bump and of all places, fell directly in front of my front bike tire and I ran over them (I'm still not sure how it happened that it fell under the front tire). They broke into a million pieces, which is surprising since I purchased them for $5 from walmart and usually their stuff is such good quality. So I went back to walmart and purchased another $5 pair, and they lasted exactly one week before the screws came out and the part that goes behind your ear fell off.

I really don't like posting pictures of myself. I am finding that I am hypercritical of photos of me. For example, the 3 generations picture at the top - I think I look like I just got out of a service at the Baptist church with big hair and a bunch of makeup And I look like 4 feet taller than mom, I must have been standing on something higher than her. The second picture of Piper and I - my arm looks monstrous and flabby. I think these are things that only I notice, since we all tend to be harder on ourselves, and notice things about ourselves that others never would.