37 weeks

Geezus, I can't believe I'm actually typing 37 weeks! It seems like just the blink of an eye that I was timidly counting the scary and stressful first trimester weeks...and now I'm in the window where this baby could be born and it is insane to think this pregnancy is almost up.

It's currently 4:43am and I've been up for over an hour with pregnancy insomnia. This is the first time this pregnancy that I've actually gotten out of bed and wandered around the house. Usually I just lie there and toss and turn and wait to fall back asleep. Speaking of tossing and turning, I'm really shocked with how well I'm still sleeping. I had a few uncomfortable nights during the Michigan trip where my hip bones throbbed all night and felt like they were digging into the mattress. But otherwise, I'm still sleeping rather well.

Actually I'm feeling/walking/eating/etc all rather well for being so close to the end. Patrick and I have been talking about how insane it is that this baby could make an appearance any day, which is possible, but I just have a feeling that I have much more time to go. I am not really swollen, I'm still sleeping well, I am VERY hungry, I am still getting around with no problems and I'm still genuinely pretty content. They have sorta hammered this into us at the birth center that the baby will most likely come once you are getting to the point of misery, where you are so uncomfortable that you will do anything to get that baby out...which basically means you'll be willing to go through hours of horrid pain just to be able to sleep on your stomach again fortheloveofGod!

I am, however, rocking the occasional very mildly swollen ankles, a slight bit of a waddle depending on how the baby is lying in my tummy and more and more of a fat face each day. Also, I can often be seen with a few inches of the bottom of my tummy showing since I've officially outgrown pretty much all my maternity shirts.

I've been really needing extra rest time lately. Thankfully Patrick is wonderful and gets up each morning around 7:10ish with Piper and does the morning breakfast routine. I roll out of bed around 7:30 and join them and I find that I really really need to lie down during Piper's nap time. If I don't fall immediately to sleep during nap time, I'll try and imagine this baby and who he/she is, what they will look like and how they will make their appearance in this world, breastfeeding again, etc. This all brings me...nothing. I mean nothing. I seriously can not picture this baby, or if they are a boy or a girl or what it will be like to be in labor again. This makes me nervous because I'm afraid I'm going to feel a contraction and freak out and realize that "A baby is coming!" and have some sort of nervous breakdown as the reality finally hits me because I've been completely pre-occupied with nursing school, Patrick, Piper and everything else. With Piper's pregnancy we were totally ready and had finished our birth classes and read books and her arrival was all we talked about. I've chatted with sisters and friends about how it is the second time around and everyone agreed that it is just different - you are too busy with life and #1 to be as prepared as you were the first time around. The only difference is that you know what to do this time and everything will suddenly feel familiar. One of my girlfriends was telling me that with her first she listened to guided meditations for birth 3x a week and had her birth bag packed at 31 weeks. With her second she never opened a book/listened to a tape and her husband packed her birth bag while she was panting through contractions at 38+ weeks seconds before they left to have the baby. I just feel so unprepared for this baby, hell we don't even have a clue what to name them and our bag is not packed yet.